chocolateribbon

A poem for 2009

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:19:40 GMT

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Mary Oliver - "The journey"

second chance

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 13:05:53 GMT

how many times in life are we given a second chance; to reconsider our decision, to ask for forgiveness, to redeem our mistakes. and now, i thank the skies above that second chance came knocking on my door again.

i bet my friends, or at least those who knows what this is about are rolling their eyes now. how many times i have been so fickle with my decision.

on a random note, it is going to snow tomorrow! woots! snow!!! i am excited :) but that also means that the temperature is going to dip drastically, drats.

now, i shall wait for J to come back so we can bitch.

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 02:39:02 GMT

the thing about making decision is that, no matter how much you think about it, rationalize it, you still cant seem to decide. and when you finally make the decision, you start to regret it. you start to think about "what if", think about "why", and you start to second guess your decision again.

it was hard coming to this decision, it was hard giving up something that i treasure and i have always wished and hoped for. there are many things in life i can't do at the same time. but when giving the choice, i have always done the thing that i know that 20 years down, i will not regret doing it. but now, i think i have the very one thing that i will regret for years to come. maybe not regret, but think back to what it could have lead to, what it could have been.

but now, all is cast and set. so goodbye, and hello.

eleven

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:08:17 GMT

to me who is not performing as well as i would want to at my work, and is whining to anyone i see on msn about my work, who is absolutely clueless about what my boss REALLY wants to see:

There are dreams and there are career plans. They are not the same. Some dreams are compensatory: visions that we retreat to in times of stress, like blankies for infants, things that comfort us and tell us what we need to be told. The dream of being a famous writer can be like that: a dream of infantile power and attention that disguises the more immediate need -- for safety, self-love, serenity, peace in our hearts.

But the work, that is another thing. The real work is staggering; the real work is work. It is not dream. It is pushing against the wall; it is hearing what we do not want to hear; it is doing the numbers; it is learning the new terms as they come along; it is sitting through evaluations and self-evaluations. It is an eternal object lesson in our powerlessness and our smallness. The real work is grinding and slow.

When I look at all the writers who have won coveted prizes and all the filmmakers and artists who have had success, what I notice is that they are the ones who actually filled out the applications for fellowships and sent their work around for critique and rejection; they are the ones who locked themselves in rooms and worked at it; they are the ones who did what was required; they are the ones who allowed themselves to be beginners and to begin at the beginning and do the next obvious thing.

もと、頑張りましょう！

perfect ten

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:48:11 GMT

The weather here is quite terrible now. It is now the rainy season, they called it the 梅雨季节. So, raining in Shanghai is different from raining in Singapore. But first, I need to explain where I stay and where I work. My work place/house is in this part Shanof Shanghai that is still undergoing construction, so there are alot of sand, broken down houses all around. And naturally, when it rains, the sand and whatever not turns into something disgusting and sticks to your leg. And! The roads in Shanghai is quite uneven and they dont have proper drainage system, so when it rains, there will be puddles of water everywhere. I shall talk more about my house/work place when I take more photos.

So! As a prelude to the rainy season in Shanghai, my plane ride from Changi Airport ot Pudong Airport was quite terrible.

<a href="http://s35.photobucket.com/albums/d175/judo123/?action=view&current=DSC02395-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d175/judo123/DSC02395-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

It all started out fine, the sky was blue with white marshmallow like clouds doting the skyline.

Then, as I started flying towards Shanghai, turbulence started to occur very frequently. It was really very scary, the whole plane was literally shaking and once, when the air stewardess was passing me my lunch, the plates of food on the try literally jumped up. Bad.

When I landed at Shanghai, it was raining,which I guess explains the jerky plane ride. But I was greeted with a very very beautiful rainbow when I landed.And I managed to see both the start and the end of the rainbow as the plane was moving towards it's parking space. Actually, there are 2 rainbows, but the other one is really faint. See if you can spot it in the picture above.

Before we could disembark from our plane, the health officials from Shanghai has to come and check our temperature, sort of a safety measure against H1N1. When they went up the plane, everyone started laughing, because they really look ridiculous. Is there a need to wrap your self up so much? The only exposed skin they have is the area between their goggles and their face mask okie. Because of all safety precautions, it took me very long before I cleared the custom. I landed at 615pm, I only walked into the arrival hall at 830pm. That's how long.

So that weekend was spent going to Muse, eating korean food, unpacking my luggage, and shopping at 七浦路. That place is like bugis village, but maybe 20 times bigger? It has alot alot of buildings, and each building is like one bugis village. But like all places like this, much of the stuff they sell is the same. I shall save the bargaining story for another day.

So on that day that I went shopping, one of my friend went to do hair extension, and I went to color my hair!

Not a very nice picture but just to show the color.

This is one of their street food. It is called 煎粉. It taste like 粉条 that you eat during steamboat. It is nice and cheap. 3RMB for this portion.

okie, this conclude my first few days in Shanghai~

looking down from nine stories high

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 09:26:17 GMT

now that i am really leaving very soon. i am starting to feel a little fearful and scared. i have no idea what life is going to be like over there and i am really very sad and unwilling to leave behind my loved ones. ):

met up with a bunch of friends over the past few days, thank you for all the well wishes and the blessings.

this is supposed to be an entry that is touching and sentimental, look how it turns out.

eight ice cream cones

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:17:06 GMT

the weather now is UNBEARABLE. walking in jeans outside is like a slow torture. and so are bus rides.

can i rant?

i just took a 1.5 hr bus ride to school. went to the offices for 5 mins to hand in a form and took another 1.5 hr bus ride home. it is a bloody waste of time!

okie, now i feel better.

seven up!

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 13:51:24 GMT

the reality of leaving has finally started to set in. and the feeling kinda sucks.

i did something silly with jiadi today. we went back to tj, wearing our school uniform and just set at the sports complex and talk. it sounds very silly, but i did really enjoyed myself very much today. taking a trip down the memory lane once in a while gives me a reprive from life now.

half past six

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:02:45 GMT

i want my happy soda :(

today was a good shopping trip. bought shoes! bought my blusher! and now i am broke. broke till all i wanna do is hole up at home and eat bread for all my meals.

and oh! Macs brought back their garlic chilli!

five stones

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:39:59 GMT

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?

four minutes till five

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 09:00:34 GMT

i am proud to announce that after around one week of procrastination, i finally did my visa! *pats back*

today's tuition was the most trying tuition ever. the kid refuse to cooperate no matter what i say/threaten/sweet talked. "chinese is boooring" he would repeat COUNTLESS time through out the lesson. then as i was leaving, i met his other teacher who was tutoring the brother and we had a mini bitch session about how hopeless we feel teaching the kid. nice to know i am not alone.

three blind mice

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 09:30:08 GMT

i realize i hate confessing. confessing sucks for me. i will get all sweaty palm and then i will start to dread every moment i have to walk up to the person/hit the send button on my phone or the email. and i procrastinate like mad. i have been drafting an email to my tuition kid's parents about my impending departure since 230pm and it is now 530pm. there is nothing i should be guilty off, but i just dont like the feeling of.. i dont even know why i am feeling this way. i am rambling. argh, i will send the email now. NOW NOW NOW.

twoxtwo=4

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 14:29:53 GMT

after watching re-runs of old stephen chow movies pre shaolin soccer, i am going to attempt watching boys over flower, kor ver.

and i must get to the freaking embassy tml to settle visa. must must must.

now lets go back to one

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 06:41:32 GMT

well. it is now 235pm singapore time and i kinda just woke up. so much for my plan of waking up at 8. never mind there is monday! ( the inner mind workings of a procrastinator)

bm is pretty much a flop. i am feeling so lazy to do anything to it. i shall see how it works out.

bored

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 12:31:05 GMT

i lead such an unproductive and boring life. while pple have internship, special sems, industrial attachment. exciting social life to keep them company, i only have sophie.

alright! tml i shall wake up at 8 and be at the chinese embassy by 930 to make my visa. exciting right...

この夏休み

Tue, 19 May 2009 11:57:46 GMT

so what will you be doing this summer?

pain pain go away

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 12:02:22 GMT

my throat hurts just by looking at photos of chocolate.

i dont want to be sick now :(

When I wished upon a star

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 09:00:57 GMT

when i wished upon a star, when the angels are looking down on me, wishes can come true. like this:

and then it leads to this:

i am absolutely delighted now.

i cant wait.

so thinnnnn

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 02:35:13 GMT

i am totally freak out now. I AM FREAKED OUT. i hate how my academic life is now hanging on a thin thread.

TB25

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:30:18 GMT

TB25の友達と先せい。

さくらさくらいざ舞い上がれ
永远にさんざめく光を浴びて
さらば友よまたこの场所で会おうさくら舞い散る道の上で

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:55:01 GMT

i know i am slow, but omg, grey's anatomy is gooodd!!

happy birthday cheryl!!! welcome to the 19th club :)

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:15:45 GMT

taxi fares are going up. bloody hell. that is annoying, i thought the fares were revised on earlier this year or late last year? a 20cent jump is really going to jack up fares like hell. i am seriously going to stop cabbing to school that much. btc shuttle bus shall be my mode of transport now.

the exams have ended!! qutie long ago. jia came over for stayover some time ago and we baked ice cream cones cup cake and gingerbread man cookies. which were... nice i guess.

met up with tricia keying and michelle yesterday for good food at holland v. went 211 for romantic rooftop dinner. food there was good and the amibence was excellent for catching up sessions. then we went to the 2am desert bar for desert. the deserts there are not just desert, they are gourmet desert. nice to look, nice to eat, but not nice on your pocket. we tried the chocolate, green tea, blackberry and twix. my favourite was green tea. and this desert treat itself cost as much as our dinner, so you can imagine how expensive it was. i wont be going back there anytime soon. then, because 2am desert bar could not satisfy our cravings, we went to cold rock for ice cream!! ice cream taste better when it is shared. pity we didnt manage to take any photos.

appreciation dinner tml, and bys night next mon. cant wait.

balancing act

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 15:11:31 GMT

i am slowly being killed by financial accounting. i swear that i did a thorough revision of it, yet when i try past year papers, i still dont get it. WHY WOULDNT IT BALANCE??? extremely frustrating.

sis is back with the vcds!! i am on my way to turning into an otaku.

5 more days till end of exams!!

Writer's Block: Warning:

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 10:35:41 GMT

If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

View 503 Answers

do not deprive her of chocolates and internet.

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 13:03:17 GMT

noggin and scrabulous. that and gakuen alice. i am so screwed