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I miss shanghai sooo much for so many reasons. for starters, youku and tudou would have been so much faster.
load,damnit,!
load,damnit,!
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chocolateribbon
03 January 2010 @ 08:46 am
2010! a quote to sum up what i want 2010 to be
Remember, remember, this is now, and now,
and now, live it, feel it, cling to it.
I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted.
Slyvia Path
Remember, remember, this is now, and now,
and now, live it, feel it, cling to it.
I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted.
Slyvia Path
20 December 2009 @ 11:19 pm
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Mary Oliver - "The journey"
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Mary Oliver - "The journey"
15 December 2009 @ 09:05 pm
how many times in life are we given a second chance; to reconsider our decision, to ask for forgiveness, to redeem our mistakes. and now, i thank the skies above that second chance came knocking on my door again.
i bet my friends, or at least those who knows what this is about are rolling their eyes now. how many times i have been so fickle with my decision.
on a random note, it is going to snow tomorrow! woots! snow!!! i am excited :) but that also means that the temperature is going to dip drastically, drats.
now, i shall wait for J to come back so we can bitch.
i bet my friends, or at least those who knows what this is about are rolling their eyes now. how many times i have been so fickle with my decision.
on a random note, it is going to snow tomorrow! woots! snow!!! i am excited :) but that also means that the temperature is going to dip drastically, drats.
now, i shall wait for J to come back so we can bitch.
04 December 2009 @ 10:39 am
the thing about making decision is that, no matter how much you think about it, rationalize it, you still cant seem to decide. and when you finally make the decision, you start to regret it. you start to think about "what if", think about "why", and you start to second guess your decision again.
it was hard coming to this decision, it was hard giving up something that i treasure and i have always wished and hoped for. there are many things in life i can't do at the same time. but when giving the choice, i have always done the thing that i know that 20 years down, i will not regret doing it. but now, i think i have the very one thing that i will regret for years to come. maybe not regret, but think back to what it could have lead to, what it could have been.
but now, all is cast and set. so goodbye, and hello.
it was hard coming to this decision, it was hard giving up something that i treasure and i have always wished and hoped for. there are many things in life i can't do at the same time. but when giving the choice, i have always done the thing that i know that 20 years down, i will not regret doing it. but now, i think i have the very one thing that i will regret for years to come. maybe not regret, but think back to what it could have lead to, what it could have been.
but now, all is cast and set. so goodbye, and hello.
09 July 2009 @ 03:05 pm
to me who is not performing as well as i would want to at my work, and is whining to anyone i see on msn about my work, who is absolutely clueless about what my boss REALLY wants to see:
There are dreams and there are career plans. They are not the same. Some dreams are compensatory: visions that we retreat to in times of stress, like blankies for infants, things that comfort us and tell us what we need to be told. The dream of being a famous writer can be like that: a dream of infantile power and attention that disguises the more immediate need -- for safety, self-love, serenity, peace in our hearts.
But the work, that is another thing. The real work is staggering; the real work is work. It is not dream. It is pushing against the wall; it is hearing what we do not want to hear; it is doing the numbers; it is learning the new terms as they come along; it is sitting through evaluations and self-evaluations. It is an eternal object lesson in our powerlessness and our smallness. The real work is grinding and slow.
When I look at all the writers who have won coveted prizes and all the filmmakers and artists who have had success, what I notice is that they are the ones who actually filled out the applications for fellowships and sent their work around for critique and rejection; they are the ones who locked themselves in rooms and worked at it; they are the ones who did what was required; they are the ones who allowed themselves to be beginners and to begin at the beginning and do the next obvious thing.
もと、頑張りましょう！
There are dreams and there are career plans. They are not the same. Some dreams are compensatory: visions that we retreat to in times of stress, like blankies for infants, things that comfort us and tell us what we need to be told. The dream of being a famous writer can be like that: a dream of infantile power and attention that disguises the more immediate need -- for safety, self-love, serenity, peace in our hearts.
But the work, that is another thing. The real work is staggering; the real work is work. It is not dream. It is pushing against the wall; it is hearing what we do not want to hear; it is doing the numbers; it is learning the new terms as they come along; it is sitting through evaluations and self-evaluations. It is an eternal object lesson in our powerlessness and our smallness. The real work is grinding and slow.
When I look at all the writers who have won coveted prizes and all the filmmakers and artists who have had success, what I notice is that they are the ones who actually filled out the applications for fellowships and sent their work around for critique and rejection; they are the ones who locked themselves in rooms and worked at it; they are the ones who did what was required; they are the ones who allowed themselves to be beginners and to begin at the beginning and do the next obvious thing.
もと、頑張りましょう！
25 June 2009 @ 05:23 pm
now that i am really leaving very soon. i am starting to feel a little fearful and scared. i have no idea what life is going to be like over there and i am really very sad and unwilling to leave behind my loved ones. ):
met up with a bunch of friends over the past few days, thank you for all the well wishes and the blessings.
this is supposed to be an entry that is touching and sentimental, look how it turns out.
met up with a bunch of friends over the past few days, thank you for all the well wishes and the blessings.
this is supposed to be an entry that is touching and sentimental, look how it turns out.
19 June 2009 @ 05:14 pm
the weather now is UNBEARABLE. walking in jeans outside is like a slow torture. and so are bus rides.
can i rant?
i just took a 1.5 hr bus ride to school. went to the offices for 5 mins to hand in a form and took another 1.5 hr bus ride home. it is a bloody waste of time!
okie, now i feel better.
can i rant?
i just took a 1.5 hr bus ride to school. went to the offices for 5 mins to hand in a form and took another 1.5 hr bus ride home. it is a bloody waste of time!
okie, now i feel better.
15 June 2009 @ 09:46 pm
the reality of leaving has finally started to set in. and the feeling kinda sucks.
i did something silly with jiadi today. we went back to tj, wearing our school uniform and just set at the sports complex and talk. it sounds very silly, but i did really enjoyed myself very much today. taking a trip down the memory lane once in a while gives me a reprive from life now.
i did something silly with jiadi today. we went back to tj, wearing our school uniform and just set at the sports complex and talk. it sounds very silly, but i did really enjoyed myself very much today. taking a trip down the memory lane once in a while gives me a reprive from life now.
13 June 2009 @ 01:00 am
i want my happy soda :(
today was a good shopping trip. bought shoes! bought my blusher! and now i am broke. broke till all i wanna do is hole up at home and eat bread for all my meals.
and oh! Macs brought back their garlic chilli!
today was a good shopping trip. bought shoes! bought my blusher! and now i am broke. broke till all i wanna do is hole up at home and eat bread for all my meals.
and oh! Macs brought back their garlic chilli!
Current Music: wishes- emi fujita
12 June 2009 @ 12:18 am
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?
11 June 2009 @ 04:57 pm
i am proud to announce that after around one week of procrastination, i finally did my visa! *pats back*
today's tuition was the most trying tuition ever. the kid refuse to cooperate no matter what i say/threaten/sweet talked. "chinese is boooring" he would repeat COUNTLESS time through out the lesson. then as i was leaving, i met his other teacher who was tutoring the brother and we had a mini bitch session about how hopeless we feel teaching the kid. nice to know i am not alone.
today's tuition was the most trying tuition ever. the kid refuse to cooperate no matter what i say/threaten/sweet talked. "chinese is boooring" he would repeat COUNTLESS time through out the lesson. then as i was leaving, i met his other teacher who was tutoring the brother and we had a mini bitch session about how hopeless we feel teaching the kid. nice to know i am not alone.
10 June 2009 @ 05:26 pm
i realize i hate confessing. confessing sucks for me. i will get all sweaty palm and then i will start to dread every moment i have to walk up to the person/hit the send button on my phone or the email. and i procrastinate like mad. i have been drafting an email to my tuition kid's parents about my impending departure since 230pm and it is now 530pm. there is nothing i should be guilty off, but i just dont like the feeling of.. i dont even know why i am feeling this way. i am rambling. argh, i will send the email now. NOW NOW NOW.
07 June 2009 @ 10:27 pm
after watching re-runs of old stephen chow movies pre shaolin soccer, i am going to attempt watching boys over flower, kor ver.
and i must get to the freaking embassy tml to settle visa. must must must.
and i must get to the freaking embassy tml to settle visa. must must must.
05 June 2009 @ 02:35 pm
well. it is now 235pm singapore time and i kinda just woke up. so much for my plan of waking up at 8. never mind there is monday! ( the inner mind workings of a procrastinator)
bm is pretty much a flop. i am feeling so lazy to do anything to it. i shall see how it works out.
bm is pretty much a flop. i am feeling so lazy to do anything to it. i shall see how it works out.
Current Mood: 
hungry
hungry04 June 2009 @ 08:28 pm
i lead such an unproductive and boring life. while pple have internship, special sems, industrial attachment. exciting social life to keep them company, i only have sophie.
alright! tml i shall wake up at 8 and be at the chinese embassy by 930 to make my visa. exciting right...
alright! tml i shall wake up at 8 and be at the chinese embassy by 930 to make my visa. exciting right...
16 March 2009 @ 08:01 pm
my throat hurts just by looking at photos of chocolate.
i dont want to be sick now :(
i dont want to be sick now :(
09 March 2009 @ 04:59 pm
when i wished upon a star, when the angels are looking down on me, wishes can come true. like this:
and then it leads to this:
i am absolutely delighted now.
i cant wait.
and then it leads to this:
i am absolutely delighted now.
i cant wait.